There Must be Hope for a Guy like This.....but we will have to hear a few of his new sermons before we declare him cured.

"I believe that humility is the great omission and failure in my eleven years of preaching. I believe that this is my greatest oversight both in my example and in my instruction."
Mark Driscoll,
pastor of Seattle's Mars Hill Church.
(Source: Between Two Worlds)

Perhaps Canucks are just Red Necks with Frost Bite and Windburn

Observations by Jeff Foxworthy

You Might Be a Canuck if..........

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,you may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Canada .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Canada

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Muncie for the weekend, you may live in Canada .

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you may live in Canada

If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada

If the speed limit on the highway is 80km -- you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Canada

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada .

If you find 2 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Canada

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Canadian friends & others, you definitely live in Canada



Jeff Foxworthy (He's got us pegged to a Tee.)

Jesus Loves You but......

very funny......
but sad....
in a funny kinda way.....
don't ya think?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DR. PHIL :
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH :
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH :
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL :
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

JOHN KERRY :
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE :
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.




PAT BUCHANAN :
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.




MARTHA STEWART :
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS :
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.




ERNEST HEMINGWAY :
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL :
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.




GRANDPA :
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.




BARBARA WALTERS :
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON :
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.




ARISTOTLE :
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.




BILL GATES :
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.




ALBERT EINSTEIN :
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?




BILL CLINTON :
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?





AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!




COLONEL SANDERS :
Did I miss one?




DICK CHENEY :
Where's my gun?